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Everybody went through a Pink Floyd phase, right? But, the child is grown; the dream is gone. Let’s face it, some of this stuff, well, sucked. So while we still have a deep respect — and I mean that most sincerely — for, say, Dark Side of the Moon, careful adult inspection reveals that even that psych-masterpiece boasts at least one awful clunker.
So, have a cigar, as we count down the stuff that didn’t quite make their hall-of-fame resume — the ones where they were tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit … well, you get the idea:
No. 5: “ON THE RUN,” (DARK SIDE OF THE MOON, 1973): Here’s the pitch … switch on the new synthesizer, then record ourselves ascending and descending the stairs. Wow, man. Originally referred to by the band as “The Travel Sequence,” it includes an airport PA announcer intoning: “Have your baggage and passport ready and then follow the green line to customs and immigration.” Instead, this track — repetitive, silly when it was supposed to be spooky — simply gave fans a great opportunity to get up at concerts to “travel” for another beer during this “instrumental.”
No. 4: “ALAN’S PSYCHEDELIC BREAKFAST,” (ATOM HEART MOTHER, 1970): Actually, a three-part conceptual piece. Sounds like a lofty premise right? Except they really meant it: Pink Floyd noodles around while roadie Alan Styles prepares — and then endlessly, endlessly discusses previously consumed — yes, breakfasts. That’s right: “Breakfast in Los Angeles,” Styles mutters, deliriously, “macrobiotic stuff.” Then that echoes around for while — macrobiotic, macrobiotic, zzzzz — as bacon sizzles and milk gets poured. Pancakes without syrup are more interesting.
No. 3: “DOGS OF WAR,” (MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON, 1987): Dogs, again? War, again? The track even switches from 12/8 to 4/4 during the sax solo — just like “Money,” the breakout track from Dark Side. To top it off, David Gilmour is the only member of, you know, Pink Floyd on it. (That’s studio aces Tony Levin on bass and Carmine Appice on drums.) In the run up to this album’s release, departed co-founder Roger Waters took the remaining Floyds to court, asserting that the band shouldn’t continue without him, as it was “a spent force.” Hard to argue when presented with this.
No. 2: “TAKE UP THY STETHOSCOPE AND WALK,” (THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN, 1967): Waters shows he can be a completely feckless downer right from the start. On his only writing credit from Pink Floyd’s otherwise delightful and sweetly psychedelic Syd Barrett-dominated debut, Roger descends into a rather shockingly clinical morbidity. Well, it was shocking back then, anyway. Fast forward a few decades, and this track doesn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone who witnessed Waters’ ascension to central creative voice for the band’s mega-hit The Wall. Just goes to show it wasn’t an assumed persona. Roger was always like that.
No. 1: “THE TRIAL,” (THE WALL, 1979): More like a demented Broadway musical number than a rock song, it’s still surprising to double check the liner notes and discover that this is only just over five minutes in length. It seems far, far, far longer than that. OK, here goes — after the album cycle’s central character Pink is charged with showing feelings, there follows a trial in which several figures from his awful past show up to denigrate and taunt him. Bad enough, right? Tack this on: All of these characters — the Abusive Schoolmaster, the Cuckold’s Wife, the Smothering Mother, so on — are performed by Waters (who’s already, to be charitable, an acquired taste as a vocalist) in an increasingly annoying series of accents. Verdict: unlistenable.
Good list! I would only take (slight) issue with On the Run, as it serves as a bridge between Breathe and Time. Otherwise, well done!
Great picks, I never considered Take up Thy Stethoscope, but after listening to it objectively I wholeheartedly agree.
Next to Ringo Nick Mason was possibly the world’s most overrated drummer, he plays the way John Entwistle looks.
He must’ve had a metronome inserted in his ass to keep from falling asleep, it’s the only way to explain it.
I guess it takes a certain kind of genius to make a song like ‘Obscured by Clouds’ more boring.
I love Syd, but for PF to base the rest of their career mooning over him shows an incredible lack of imagination.
The Wall would have been a great EP. Seriously, without songs like Another Brick II, Comfortably Numb a few choice others that album would have been as unlistenable as the movie is unwatchable.
Speaking of Pink Floyd, check out this awesome cover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj7pDNDuoJ0
That video is, somehow, more excruciating than anything on my list, Das. And, if you’ve tried to listen to, say, the breakfast-related disaster referenced above, you know this is no easy task. Wow.
All the psychedelics in the world won’t prevent the acid reflux that song gives you.
You forgot arguably the worst PF track ever, San Tropez! As much as I love the Floyd, good Lord I hate that shmaltzy piece of $%$. Seamus deserves a (dis)honourable mention as well.
What a throwaway piece of island-inflected piffle “San Tropez” is, right? “Seamus” could have easily made the list, too, if only for the yawling accompaniment — courtesy of an in-studio appearance by a Russian wolfhound named Nobs, which reportedly belonged to the daughter of circus director Joseph Bouglione. Like, wow, man!
The other minor significance of “On The Run?” It was used for many years as background to introduce the visiting team at the United Center before Alan Parsons Project’s “Sirius” played behind the Chicago Bulls.
I don’t understand this list..on the run serves as a nice bridge between the two songs and without it, Dark Side of the Moon is a little less it’s former self.
The Trial? Genius, it’s what ties the whole purpose of the Wall together, if you don’t get it, it’s a concept album. For The Trial, if you can’t conceptualize where in your own personal life you’ve faced the same “Trials” where you can’t be yourself or when you are no one understands, so you build this wall, but the wall starts to keep people out you didn’t mean to alienate, and if you tear it down it’s almost too human, too much… Obviously you miss the point, so I don’t agree with two strongly….
Dogs of War is not as awful as your surmise…it’s not as genuine as the real Pink Floyd lyrically, but the sax solo, the guitar solo and well, musically it’s okay.
I know nothing of the other two tracks, but I think Sheep could have gone on from Animals, and at least Shine on you Crazy Diamond XII..
Man, I always loved the trial though. It’s my favorite song of theirs because I think it was the perfect ending for the wall, but maybe that’s just me.