Well, the JUNOs got cancelled, and they were supposed to take place here in town.
For those who live Stateside, the JUNOs are the Canadian equivalent of the Grammy Awards. And hosting them in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan would have been kind of like hosting them in the heartland of the American Midwest: imagine somewhere in that big, vast region south of Fargo and east of Denver, for instance.
That’s not to disparage any of those cities (including ‘Toontown itself). But it’s good for Canadians to remember that artists like Joni Mitchell (our best-known hometown hero) or the Sheepdogs (another local act that became the first and maybe to this day the only unsigned band to grace the cover of Rolling Stone) don’t always have to come from Toronto or Vancouver, in much the same way as American artists can materialize from places other than New York or L.A.
So, since everyone in the immediate future will likely be going through various stages of self-isolating, elbow-bumping and searching desperately for bathroom tissue (explained to me as a form of “retail therapy”), here are a few stray thoughts seen through the rose-colored rock n’ roll spectacles I often wear for special occasions and world-changing events.
‘POLITE’ CANADIANS: It’s true. When we accidentally bump into people on the street or in the store we do often apologize and say, “Sorry.” I’m thinking it might actually be code so that Canucks can recognize each other, like having our own secret handshake. (See – we had the whole “no touching” thing down right from the start.) I mean, just imagine Kanye grabbing a mic during an awards show out the hands of Shania Twain, Avril Lavigne, or Celine Dion. Or how about Anne Murray, whose song “Snowbird” in 1970 made her the first Canadian female singer to have a No. 1 hit on the U.S. charts? She’s a product of Nova Scotia, and still not taking any nonsense from anybody. Enough said.
BEST SIDE ONES: I used to think this would make a good discussion piece, but really, it’s only a half a record review (or maybe a half-baked record review) at best. But it’s like that toilet paper thing – why that particular item? I mean, if you’re gonna hoard something, why not music?
So, presented here, also with no context whatsoever, here are the Top Five Side Ones, U.K. Prog and Rock Edition (3-song maximum):
Deep Purple – In Rock (1970)
Emerson, Lake and Palmer – Emerson, Lake and Palmer (1970)
Wishbone Ash – Argus (1972)
Led Zeppelin – Physical Graffiti (1975)
Dire Straits – Making Movies (1980)
PADDING OUT YOUR JAMES LAST COLLECTION: An old friend of mine from grade school used to collect records. He eventually sold his entire collection a number of years ago – but old habits die hard, and he recently started acquiring LPs again, as well as 45 RPM singles. He’s buying up a little of everything, including old James Last albums (“if they’re in good condition”).
I don’t get it. We had a nice discussion on Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy over breakfast a couple of weeks ago, so he still knows his stuff and always had pretty good taste. But – James Last? Depending on your sources, in his day the German bandleader sold somewhere between 50-200 million albums worldwide, with such hip titles as Non-Stop Dancing 9 (“28 hits for a swinging party”) Hammond a Gogo, Trumpet a Gogo, and so on. As well, he seems to have over 800 albums listed on the Discogs website. Who has the time to record that many albums?
Truth be told, I myself have a couple of Last’s “28 swinging hits” albums tucked away in the stack here at home. After not having heard them for years, I pulled a couple out the other day … and I still don’t get it. Of course, my taste in German music runs to the old prog band Virus (from Bielefeld) and Nico, so what do I know?
THE END OF THE INTERNET: I dunno – was there ever a time when people referred to reading every book in the library? In any case, I think I might have reached that somewhat rhetorical point.
As part of their efforts to keep up with the digital age, my public library has a site where one can access digital music. Sometimes, one can find music there that isn’t available on the other major download/access sites.
So, the other day I was looking for any recordings by Joe Lynn Turner’s early band, called Fandango. I found four albums, released between 1977 and 1980, all of them containing solid enough late-’70s songwriting. After the dissolution of Fandango, Turner would go on to front Rainbow. (Incidentally, Fandango’s guitarist was named Rick Blakemore.)
However, the site also credited a fifth and sixth album to Fandango, which turned out to belong to a band that was actually called Nick Simper’s Fandango. These two particular albums were from 1979 and 1980, and also featured solid enough late-’70s songwriting.
And so it was I realized that not only did Nick Simper and Joe Lynn Turner play in two different bands called Fandango around 1980, but they also played at different times in Deep Purple with Ritchie Blackmore.
And if that doesn’t get them both into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, somebody’s been drinking too much hand sanitizer.
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