The Beaumonts – Where Do You Want It? (2013)

A raunchy, no-bullshit punkabilly record, Where Do You Want It? begins with a paean to snot-slinging drunkeness — and the Beaumonts never take their steel-toed boot off the gas.

Sample lyric from the opener: “I like drinking,” Troy Wayne Delco howls, “I like dancing, I like getting high.”

Elsewhere, Where Do You Want It?, due for a vinyl release via Saustex on March 19, 2013, makes room for a series of similarly gruff, similarly fleet, similarly hilarious honky-tonk tributes to the fairer sex (“I Like Women,” which finds Delco offering this: “I like smart women; I like the stupid women, too”), to religion (“If You Don’t Love the Lord” — and if you don’t, of course, “you’re fucking fucked”) and (wait, didn’t we already cover this one?) to liquor with “I Deserve a Drink.”

The Lubbock, Texas-based quartet goes on to explore the many splendors of relationships (“The Meaning of Love”), the unknowableness of women (“Josephine”), even sucker-punches one of country music’s most recognizable names (“Toby Keith,” offering that he’s “the ugliest woman that I swear I’ve ever seen”). Even when they downshift into the yowling lament “Lord Help Me,” the Beaumonts can’t help but insert a send-up sermon with tongue firmly in cheek: “There’s a list of my sins that goes from Lubbock to Muleshoe,” Delco intones.

It’s like somebody strapped a Telecaster on comedian Ron White.

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Nick DeRiso

Nick DeRiso has written for USA Today, American Songwriter, All About Jazz, and a host of others. Honored as columnist of the year five times by the Associated Press, Louisiana Press Association and Louisiana Sports Writers Association, he oversaw a daily section named Top 10 in the U.S. by the AP before co-founding Something Else! Nick is now assistant managing editor with Townsqaure Media. Listen to NICKRADIO here: bit.ly/NICKRADIO.

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