The Beaumonts – Where Do You Want It? (2013)

A raunchy, no-bullshit punkabilly record, Where Do You Want It? begins with a paean to snot-slinging drunkeness — and the Beaumonts never take their steel-toed boot off the gas.

Sample lyric from the opener: “I like drinking,” Troy Wayne Delco howls, “I like dancing, I like getting high.”

Elsewhere, Where Do You Want It?, due for a vinyl release via Saustex on March 19, 2013, makes room for a series of similarly gruff, similarly fleet, similarly hilarious honky-tonk tributes to the fairer sex (“I Like Women,” which finds Delco offering this: “I like smart women; I like the stupid women, too”), to religion (“If You Don’t Love the Lord” — and if you don’t, of course, “you’re fucking fucked”) and (wait, didn’t we already cover this one?) to liquor with “I Deserve a Drink.”

The Lubbock, Texas-based quartet goes on to explore the many splendors of relationships (“The Meaning of Love”), the unknowableness of women (“Josephine”), even sucker-punches one of country music’s most recognizable names (“Toby Keith,” offering that he’s “the ugliest woman that I swear I’ve ever seen”). Even when they downshift into the yowling lament “Lord Help Me,” the Beaumonts can’t help but insert a send-up sermon with tongue firmly in cheek: “There’s a list of my sins that goes from Lubbock to Muleshoe,” Delco intones.

It’s like somebody strapped a Telecaster on comedian Ron White.

[amazon_enhanced asin="B00BGFYGAS" container="" container_class="" price="All" background_color="FFFFFF" link_color="000000" text_color="0000FF" /] [amazon_enhanced asin="B003SG818G" container="" container_class="" price="All" background_color="FFFFFF" link_color="000000" text_color="0000FF" /] [amazon_enhanced asin="B0040II34I" container="" container_class="" price="All" background_color="FFFFFF" link_color="000000" text_color="0000FF" /] [amazon_enhanced asin="B00B9ZJBW8" container="" container_class="" price="All" background_color="FFFFFF" link_color="000000" text_color="0000FF" /] [amazon_enhanced asin="B00B9ZJ9WU" container="" container_class="" price="All" background_color="FFFFFF" link_color="000000" text_color="0000FF" /]

Nick DeRiso

Nick DeRiso has also explored music for publications like USA Today, Gannett News Service, All About Jazz and Popdose for nearly 30 years. Honored as newspaper columnist of the year five times by the Associated Press, Louisiana Press Association and Louisiana Sports Writers Association, he oversaw a daily section that was named Top 10 in the nation by the AP in 2006. Contact him at nderiso@somethingelsereviews.com.
  • Mark Saleski

    gawd, these guys are KILLIN’ me!

    too funny.

  • Fred Phillips

    OK. I’ve got to check this out.